For Him The Bells Toll

Sometimes I speak in text shorthand. For example, instead of actually laughing at someone's joke, I might instead say "Lololol!" while slapping my knee and holding my stomach.

I did that in front of Troy a couple of times. He'd say something funny and I'd say "Oh BFF, lololol."

His response? "SMDH."

2014 had more than it's share of SMDH moments.

In a span of 84 days - from March 28 to June 20 - I lost four people that were family and "family" seems too weak a word.

Troy was the first blow. I was on my way to work when I got the call. When the call ended I looked around. Everyone else's world was the same and mine had changed forever. Didn't they know? Sitting across from me a little boy was laughing while his mother painted her nails.

And there it is: Go to work. Pay your bills. Live your life and move on.

There are tons of memories that come with a 40 plus year friendship. Here's one of the LOL variety:

It's 1980 and I'm 10 years old. I'm going into my first year of Junior High School and I'm school shopping with Troy. Since he's 3 years older, my mother doesn't mind us taking the two buses needed to go to Southern Boulevard to get to the Jewman. While it's not the most politically correct name in the world, anybody that lived in NY at that time - the Bronx in particular - went to the Jewman. That store now has legendary status! If Lee jeans cost $15 at another store you might get the price down to $12. The Abdul-Jabar hi tops that are $25 up the block might get copped for $20 if your haggle and persistence skills were on point. I can't stress how huge that was to us back then. You could take those extra dollars and use them toward a BVD, a Lee jacket or a Chinese mock neck! (LOL!). The Jewman was one of the first and only spots for a while in NYC to carry the Nike Air Force Ones or what we called "Uptowns". Look it up.

So of course I have to be fresh to death for the first day of school not to mention the first day of a new school. I already had my white shell toe Adidas and a white Chams De Baron shirt. I was there that day to get Lee jeans. I told them my size, was about to get my haggle on, and then they hit me with this question:

"Bellbottoms or straight leg?"
"What?" I turned to Troy.
"Get...get the bells," he answered pointing to the blue, crisp, bellbottom Lees. I can still see him saying that while pointing.

Walking to JHS 101 on the first day of school with my boys Troy and Timmy you couldn't tell me nothing! I was the only one in bells but it didn't phase me other than they were covering my shell toes a bit. Then as we got closer to school I'd hear a faint "Gong. Gong. Gong" and a little snicker as I walked. Then the "Gong" would get louder as the snickering turned into laughter. Troy and Timmy - both in straight legs - were laughing at me and saying gong with every step I'd take. Bells were out and straight legs were in! You have to understand - it's not like I could just say to hell with them, go back to the Jewman and buy a pair of straight legs. We didn't have it like that. My back-to-school money was depleted. I was stuck with my outdated disco pants. In fact, I probably didn't get a pair of straight legs until Troy's mother would give me his!

SMDH! OMG! ROFL!

That brilliant bastard!

For the next 30 years I tried in vain to get him back. Over the years, whenever LL's "Rock the Bells" would play or that line from "It's A Wonderful Life" when George Bailey's daughter says "Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings" or if he happened to pass Hemingway's book "For Whom The Bell Tolls" in a bookstore I'd get a call. If we were together he'd give me a knowing smile and a nod.

Two weeks before he died, Troy sent me a one word text: Gong.

Troy dying on March 28 started a macabre procession. After that my mother-in-law passed on May  4, then my uncle Chops on June 9 followed by my 25 year old nephew on June 20th; his shocking, accidental death at work being a perfect bookend to 84 days of misery.

Whenever something astounded or bemused Jarred he would say "what in the actual fuck?!"

Guys aren't supposed to cry. But when you're an allergy sufferer that wears contacts and something happens that pulls on the heart strings there can be a welling up around the eye area that could be mistaken for tears when in actuality it's nothing more than your body's natural, adverse reaction to pollen.

Spring of 2014 happened to have the highest pollen count in the history of man.

My birthday passed at the end of the year. If from no other people I were guaranteed two calls. One from Troy - who would usually call the night before - and the other from my mother. My mother is a Jehovah's Witness and doesn't celebrate birthdays but she calls anyway. She doesn't say the word "happy" but she acknowledges my new year.

This year's birthday was empty at best. But you know what? You read your shout outs, open your presents, put on a happy face and move on. A boy laughs on the train while his mother paints her nails.

FOH 2014. I can't say I'm "happy" but it's a New Year. May all of you angels be soaring to new heights in your wings!

What in the actual fuck?!