The Nerve of Me

I looked good today. Damn good. The kind of good you hope you run into someone you haven't seen in a long time and they don't even bother asking if you're doing well because, damn,  that suit! Nothing gaudy. Just...understated elegance. No meetings today or anything.

Just because.

I strive for that look every day but that's not always the attained result. Wasn't even a new suit, but, sometimes it just be's like that. On the 5 train heading home. This white lady is standing in front of me. We're both facing the door. We catch each other's eyes in the reflection. Her open bag is slung over her shoulder, nonchalantly. Bad idea. I peer in. Bad idea. Her wallet is open and cash is showing. I start to tell her that, but - how would I know if I wasn't intending on robbing her, right? She clutches her bag and moves two steps away from me.

This happened on Monday and I forgot about it until now. That's because there have been daily, hourly indignities I've suffered since then. But just one doesn't register as more than another. You just keep going, keep moving. In spite of it all. Then, in one moment while your mind is still, you let your guard down long enough to remember. And something like this will invariably hit you.

Nice suit, Nigger.