Dyslexia For Cure Found

I believe I'm coming down with dyslexia. Is that something you can pick up? Is it a commutable disease? Can you get it from a public toilet seat? What's wrong with the world? It's backwards. Out of order. Broken. Upside down. Is it me? Or is it them? It's them, right?

I hear girls on the trains calling each other "son".

Chick 1: "What up son?"
Chick 2: "Chillin' ma nigga!"

Dude on the same train was wearing pink Timberlands talking on a pink cell phone.

The basketball courts these kids have today are evenly paved, no cracks. All rims are the same height WITH nets and there's nobody on the courts. The courts we played on as kids had cracks; one rim smaller than the other. God forbid you lost because then we had to wait hooouuurrrrsssss for next. Saying "I got next" would sometimes translate into I'll be back tomorrow.

When we were younger, yeah there were fat kids, but they stood out because that wasn't the norm. Nowadays there are gangs of fat kids. I ask my kids how gym is and they always seem to say "we didn't have gym today. We have gym on Thursdays." Didn't we have gym, if not everyday, like 3 or 4 times a week? Don't get me wrong. If research proved that taking away exercise in favor of, say, an extra science class was making brainiacs out of 'em that would be one thing. But now what we have is fat stupid kids. Name a fat President? Exactly. Remember when Clinton was eating one too many McDonalds cheeseburgers and was getting kinda gutty? Remember he was the butt of Saturday Night Live skits with the late Chris Farley playing him? Next thing you know every time you saw Clinton he was in a jogging suit, running to church, giving interviews on the run while clocking his 10 minute mile. No one wants a fat President. Tell that to your kid next time you see them stuffing some Twinkies in their face. "You know you'll never be elected President at the rate you're going. I had such high hopes for you." Then just walk away shaking your head. Let it sink in a little.

So after the season premiere of The Sopranos goes off Sunday night, I'm channel surfing and come upon Flava Flav's celebreality show "Flava Of Love" the season finale. Sigh...Ok, so explain to me the gist of this show again, please. They supposedly spent weeks, these girls, fighting with each other, spitting in each other's faces for what? What exactly was the grand prize? They don't get like, a million-gazillion dollars or something. I don't get it. He - Flava Flav! - is the grand prize? And these girls are alright with that? Someone get Chuck D on the line! Does Flav realize he was down with PE?!? There are no words. It's kind of ironic that he still wears the clocks around his neck 'cuz dude's stuck in a time warp. I can't tell you how pissed I was for wasting valuable minutes of my life that I'll never get back on that putrid swill. When the show goes off the logo shows it was produced by "Mindless Entertainment". Who says there's no truth in advertising? 911 ain't the only joke these days homey.